Overheard at a tavern:
So, we are heading onward from meet Touched-The-Horizon – Da, THAT Touched-The-Horizon – he give us map and note, and say that Laufey the Jotun king rally the frost giants and march on Vanirfjord cities. That Laufey the Jotun king hold Orb of Dragonkind and control legions of whites. Of course, we are proceed to stop Jotun and save Vanirfjord, though is being hard to believe until we reach lake on map – flights of dragon with Jotun rider fly overhead while I make us look like snow drift. No, do not question how am making look like snow drift, is being thing I can doing. Anyway, we get to ice lake and are about to going round mammoth when avalanche of tooth and claw land from sky, killing it, and am start feeding. Is great white dragon, as long from tip to tail as five of tavern put together, and is between us and fairy forest- what do you mean, ‘how are knowing is fairy forest?’ is have notes which say ‘bring candy, keep eyes front, keep to path’, of course is fairy forest! Idiot.
Now, dragon is occupy, so we are try to go around it. But dragon is cunning – I am disguising as snow drift again, but clumsy foreigners’ feet is making noise, so to prevent noise-making, Godchild is loudly chanting spell to prevent noise. Da, was being confused at the time also. So after making a lot of noise, we are making no noise, and dragon is concluded there are spectators to meal. It ask us to come out, and I am have idea that one of our mages are summoning creature to explain noise. Devil-man summons wolverine and it is snapped up by dragon – but dragon is not buy this ruse, and it teleport away and make ice wall behind us. Devil-man is then making invisibility sphere, and I am moving snow drift away and making it look like foreign mage- no, look, you are going to have to accept that I am make snow drift look like mage. Here, I am make this table look like your wife, you see she very ugly, she-
a fight breaks out, but the offending heckler is forcibly removed from the tavern
So, dragon is not buying wolverine noise and has disappeared. We are… worried. White dragon is apex ambush predator, is concerning to be hunted by. However, I am learned this thing of dragon habitat that day – white dragon are liking their food frozen, and frozen ice lake is being excellent larder for purpose. It erupt from surface of lake and many foreigner and even me are falling in water as surface cracks. Luckily my tovarisch, Burnt-Down-a-Town, was casting anti-freeze spell beforehand, and we are being fine floating in dragon larder. What is not so fine was dragon snatching tovarisch and bear, King, in jaw, and returning to larder.
Now, comrades are not food. I am dives in, grab Burnt and King, and then am send through obscure ways to leetle ger-nome’s shadow- what do you mean, how am fits bear and two human in leetle ger-nome shadow? All is possible for Regicide! We am disappear from dragon larder and reappear on ice flow in tiny shadow, is fine. Dragon is not so happy, and am try to eat Blooddrinker. Leetle ger-nome am make lightning aura, and flies over to dragon, in what I later learn is intricate plan of explode. Blooddrinker escape, and fuming dragon am try to make meal anyway with breath of blizzard. Is only make bludgeon for Godchild, and she bring new iceberg out of water and then on to dragon head, stunning it long enough for sky-knight to dive bomb with lance.
I am fish bird out of larder and send shadow to weaken- da, I am having detachable murder shadow, he am try to kill me one time in shadowfell and I punch him until he obey me afterward. Is great, everyone should have murder shadow. He weaken dragon, and dragon prepare to push against ice wall to get away. He do so, flying into air, and mighty sky-knight challenge with griffon and charge with lance. At same time, Blooddrinker try to flank and get revenge for larder-storing. There is good reason dragon hide is prized for armour, however – is tough, and was resist both lance and Blooddrinker’s sword, Blooddrinker, sending it to bottom of larder. This was sufficient distraction for devil-man, however – devil-man was firing three great beam of fire directly into points weakened by lance and sword, removing half of dragon face and torch many scale.
I am mention Godchild tactic of casting loud spell to stop noise, before – this time, she try to firmly tell dragon to stop flying. Am not understanding Godchild. Was not working, nor is valid tactic against dragon. What, you want to know about other ger-nome also? He spend fight screaming at dragon. Is not very heroic, he is not important in story.
Now, I previously allude to leetle ger-nome plan of explode, but was perilous tactic. Leetle ger-nome start to glow with crackling energy, but as mentioned dragon have other plan and head to opposite end of battlefield. My tovarisch is wily combatant and mighty druid, however – she control wind, send leetle ger-nome hurtling at dragon from ice wall. Now, leetle ger-nome only two feet tall – but she have heart and courage of mighty warrior, and brain of deranged psychopath. She fly right at dragon head, and EXPLODE VIOLENTLY IN FACE. Dragon is reeling, but is survive – until leetle ger-nome pull out bombs, and explode dragon head into giblets.
Was good eat for many day, and is end of story.